Superheroes


I feel that the superhero world is implausible.  Why can every other mutation of a man either fly or manipulate some awesome element?  I will suspend my disbelief when it comes to alternate earths where my brethren can wield powers, but I draw the line  when every one of those powers is fantastic.  For every man who can manipulate metal there should be one who can contort tissue-paper, right?  For every flyer there should be a faller–someone who is especially prone to gravity.  For every invulnerable man there should be a ludicrously feeble one.  Hell, we got that one covered on this earth with the one-two punch known as  Rasputin and Alexei! Anyone? Anyone?  Basically, the superpower possibilities should run the gamut from awesome to unfortunate.  I think that this would exercise the imaginations of comic book writers as they figure out how a superhero with the ability to dispense an array of fountain drinks from his fingertips can foil a diabolical plot…

Actually, that’s a pretty sweet comic in the making.  His name could be Leroy Pepper and he could be a PHD of Foods and Sciences.  Imagine, if you will, our recently graduated Leroy trying to build a life for himself with his admittedly poor decision to pursue Foods and Sciences.  He struggles to make ends meet.  Maybe he takes a job as a waiter at a local joint.  He’s a shitty waiter, of course.  One night while he’s closing, a yet-to-be-determined freak-accident occurs involving the fountain drink dispenser and voila!  All of a sudden he’s hot shit.  He’s refilling drinks here and there, the restaurant business is literally at his fingertips, and he’s got the customers in the palm of his hand (imagine the phalanges jokes!).  That there is a back-story. All he needs is an arch-nemesis.  Suggestions?

Comic book industry, make this happen.  I have a few ideas; Leroy Pepper was just one of many.

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2 thoughts on “Superheroes

  1. Make it a rainy, stormy night… And as he reaches to dispense the Dr. Pepper, a bolt of lightning blazes through the window of the diner, striking him and the machine at once!

    He could have a team up with Captain Coffee. First they would fight over a misunderstanding, then realize they have a common enemy… drinks with no caffeine!

    His arch-nemesis… Thirstor!

  2. RCbunny says:

    They would probably fight because Captain Coffee is an infamous hot-head, bitter that Dr. Pepper is the new kid on the block. Of course, Captain Coffee would have to have a sidekick…well, two: Half and Half. They could have their own slogan: “Half and Half: A Whole Lot of Trouble!” Their loveable antics could temper Captain Coffee’s bitterness? So many possibilities!

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