The Defenestration of Prague:
Defenestration, for those of you who live alone on the first floor, is the act of hurling another thing or person–say, a roommate?–out of a window. Perhaps the most famous defenestration happened in Prague in 1618. For those of you unfamiliar with the Thirty Years War, it was basically a civil war between Catholics and Protestants all across Europe. Where does Prague factor in? Well, Prague was in the midst of a dynastic overhaul that would see a hardline Catholic become the emperor. Some of the Bohemian nobles were none-too-pleased. They feared, and rightfully so, that they were going to lose the freedom of religion to which they had grown accustomed to. As you might have guessed, words are of little consequence to religious folk when they are discontented. No, they have a divine urge to get their hands dirty. These particular Protestants waltzed into the royal castle and proceeded to throw three men out of the allegedly 70-foot third-floor window. Now, I’m no historian, but I believe this is how the encounter occurred:
Protestants (upon entering the castle): We have come with many grievances and fears about our livelihood!
Catholics (not looking up): Sure, sure…staple them to the door next to Martin Luther’s.
Protestants: Oh, I think you misunderstand us. We wish to teach you a lesson.
Catholics: And what kind of lesson would that be?
Protestants: Why, it is a vocabulary lesson. We would like to teach you the meaning of “defenestrate.”
Catholics: Ah, well we are unfamiliar with the term. Could you use it in a sentence?
Protestants: Indeed we can: “The Protestants, upon being pissed off, defenestrated the Catholics from the third floor.”
Catholics: Hmmmm…yeah, we still don’t get it.
Protestants (approaching the Catholics): Well, it is better to show not tell…
Well, you probably think the Catholics died. Blasphemy! The Pope is ashamed of you. The Catholics lived to tell the tale by landing in a pile of shit. Holy shit that was some Holy shit! And that is why Catholics are always full of shit.