Impossible Questions

  • What is creepier:  A ghost, an albino, or an albino ghost?
  • Can you really say “Toy Boat” five times fast?
  • Who is the better dunker:  Michael Jordan or Dunk-a-roos?
  • Are Black and Asian people upset that they have one natural hair color or are they relieved that they will never be gingers?
  • Do you think Jesus was white because you’re racist or because he tastes like a cracker?
  • Why do some prefer to think of bridges as man-made Isthmuses?
  • If it’s easier said than done, what say you about tongue-twisters?
  • Which is bigger:  A jumbo shrimp or a dwarf monkey?
  • Who the hell stole the cookie from the cookie jar, and why do we still care?
  • Also, when exactly does the statute of limitations for cookie-thieving expire?
  • Are poison ivy bumps like braille alphabet soup to a blind man?

Above are some stirring questions.  Honestly, I don’t have the answer to many of them.  Indeed, it requires strict adherence to the scientific method to weigh a Black man’s desire for different hair colors against his trepidation of possibly joining the ginger ranks.  Of course, these questions are some of the most difficult questions known to man.  Philosophers have toiled over the answers.  For the better part of a thousand years men have studied artistic renditions of Jesus, perplexed by his whiteness.  He was in the Middle East, for His sake!  And so, thoughtful men have pondered the origins of his pallor.  Moreover, historians are puzzled by the rather Hallmark saying:  It’s easier said than done.  Could it be that the saying out-dates the very advent of tongue-twisters?  It would seem to be so because, otherwise, it would be quite as easily said than done, and both would be difficult, no?

And so, I would like to open this up for discussion:  Do you have an answer to one of the above?  Do you have other questions that deserve to join their ranks?  Sound off below!

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3 thoughts on “Impossible Questions

  1. Yes, why is it against the law to burn the flag, but if the flag hits the ground, you’re supposed to burn it?

  2. woona says:

    About: Impossible Questions
    If you pose a question, isn’t the fact you posed it make it possible, not impossible? That is, unless, perhaps the person that posed is just that, a poser? Since I know you are not a poser, may I suggest a more apropos heading, “Impossible Answers”, since the questions were totally possible, it is just the answers that are questions. Now that is a paradoxical dichotomy of sorts, answers that are questions. However, maybe there are such mythical beasts alive and well and living in language. Maybe the real impossible question that is also an answer is simply a rhetorical one, since no answer is expected of it. Food for thought…now that is a unique trade-off if possible. Can my thoughts produce food? Hmmmm…if so, I could feed the World. Or would I be better off teaching the World to think since if the masses could think for themselves they would never go hungry? But if masses could think there would be no religion because thought invokes reason and logic but religion defies either since it is based solely on faith. And I, for one, would never base faith. I think I should stop thinking and just go hungry, wadda ya think about that? Base, out.

    Oh, if you don’t post pictures on Facebook, does it really become merely…a textbook?

  3. I agree 100% with everything you just said, except for the parts I don’t agree with. (Was that a good approximation of a spam comment? I’m asking for a friend.)

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