Democracy: What if Everyone’s a Nazi?

Little known fact: Anal probing with large ballistics is the most effective way to combat fascism.

The trouble with democracy is this:  What if everyone’s a Nazi?  As per the definition of democracy, popular opinion could favor an Aryan agenda, which could translate into a Nazi administration.  That would be horrible.  In fact, the only upside I see is in the comic potential of a goose-stepping, lame-duck president.  But seriously, I feel that democracy is troubling because it is predicated on the idea that what is popular is right.  I think Churchill said it best:  “Democracy is the worst form of government…except for all the others.”

I anticipate some smart-ass is wondering:  “If everyone is a Nazi, then it follows that everyone would be content with a Nazi president.”  Touché, douche.  Indeed, if everyone were a Nazi, then the world would probably be more peaceful than it is now.  Everyone would share the same bigotry, hair color, and affinity for Vince, the Sham-Wow guy.  Also, mass genocide.  Those Nazis love them some mass genocide.  But, there would be no outlet for mass genocide, so the world would be more peaceful than it is now.  If that doesn’t make you depressed, then maybe the one-in-four chance that you suffer from depression already has.  Moving on.  Smart-asses notwithstanding, I trust the rest of you know what I mean.  The point hits home when you consider that just over half of those able to vote in the U.S. actually do.  Everyone doesn’t need to be a Nazi, every third person will do.

Yes, there are measures in place to safeguard against an impending Nazi regime.  The electoral college is a fail-safe against the stupidity of the people at large.  The Founding Fathers didn’t exactly trust you to make the right decision, America.  Personally, I don’t blame them.  Y’all stupid.  Remember the Snuggie?  That was one of your inventions, America.  I put my bathrobe on backwards and invent the Snuggie every morning.  C’mon, now!  The point of this post is this:  Democracy isn’t inherently anything; Nazis are bad; the Snuggie is simply a bathrobe with alternate directions; and the Sham-Wow is a sham, imagine that!

And for my final trick, I’ll leave you with the famous words of Vince, the Sham-Wow guy:  “It’s German.  You know the Germans make good stuff?”  Believe it or not, that was also the original tagline for Mein Kampf

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One thought on “Democracy: What if Everyone’s a Nazi?

  1. Patrick says:

    I knew the sham wow guy was a Nazi. My sister got me a snuggie once. I disowned her.

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