Imagine, if you will, the bottom of a foot or inside of a hand. What’s the first thing that strikes you? It’s pale. Regardless of race. Crazy, right? The second thing that strikes you? Calluses. Calluses fascinate me. Every now and then I’m taken by the existence of calluses and, more, the possibilities they pose. Imagine, if you will, the rest of your body. Sicken at its vulnerability; its delicate, yielding makeup. Now wonder, as I often do, if your entire body were covered in calluses. Do you like what you see? Heavens no! You’re a mutant. A misshapen, grotesque gargoyle lacquered in overgrown layers of hardened skin. But do you like how it feels to rub against a sand-papery concrete wall? How the hell would you know? You can’t feel shit on account of having nurtured an exoskeleton into existence. And, yes, it’s not technically an exoskeleton, but it’s the closest thing you can attain on your own. And how would you get it? Well, I suppose any repetitive irritation will do, but I imagine taking sand paper to my skin day-after-day, week-after-week, and so on and so forth until I am invulnerable to all the minor nuisances my feet and hands are invulnerable to. Never having to avoid lying in gravel. Never having to worry about all but the harshest of rug-burns. Never having to to worry about sun-damage, as it’s all dead skin anyway. And never having to go on a date; the calluses even protect you from love, which seems deep, doesn’t it? It’s not.
Now, I guess what I’m leading up to is this: Can you actually get calluses all over your body, or is it something exclusive to your hands and feet? See, the times that I am taken by the existence of calluses do not overlap with the times that I am visiting a doctor, so I have never found out whether or not my full-body callus idea is even possible. If anyone reading this blog is a doctor, first of all I think I have sorely missed my target-demographic, and second of all: Can it be done?
P.S. I know I could Google this, but that would mean someone else had thought of it before me, and I refuse to share credit.